Postcards from the Wastelands

2013MarkEGallery2 Fallen New Years Revolutions.

Firstly, I have to admit to a thirty year oversight. I greatly underestimated “The Fall.” I know, what a plank. 18 million appearances on The John Peel Show and countless follow up albums and I let them slip by. Have spent the last few days, reacquainting myself with the Mancunian piss head and his band, only to find out that Mark E. Is now afflicted with Dementia. Or, so they reckon but how can they tell? Being from Mancaster, I could never spot the tell tale signs. I just thought he was permanently drunk anyway. Living there, was like that and we just took it as read. “Blindness” and “Wings,” just chew away at your head and some of the albums, have a real Beefhearty quality “The Wonderful and Frightening World of the Fall,” being my favourite but each set of ears, is tuned slightly differently and it depends on timing anyway.

Now that the festive season, is winding down to it’s inevitably disappointing conclusion, we can all sit back and relax. It’s now time to gobble up the last of the stale mince pies and finish those awful Ferere Rocher, almost edible chocolate things.  Then, simply step onto the scales and decide, just how severe a diet we are going to have to commit ourselves to and stick to. Maybe for a week, or so, before throwing the whole thing into “the fickle waste bin of fate” and forget about it until The Summer when it’s attendant 2 weeks in the sun, comes a calling. Sun, sex and gastric bands beckon, from just over the horizon.

Watching “Breaking Bad” (The box set) at the moment and it’s brilliant. So why isn’t it on normal T.V? Cultural sensibilities, is probably the sad excuse that they’re hanging on to but I mean, how simple do they think we are?    What dread events, do they imagine are going to break out? The sad fucks, probably think that there is going to be a massed outbreak of Meth cooking, or something along those lines.     I first came across the stuff, about 30 years ago, when a guy that I knew at the time went to the States and brought the recipe back with him.     It was mighty stuff and very pleasant but obviously dangerous, so I gave it a miss after that initial sampling. If I remember correctly, he called it ‘Pink Frost,’ but he got busted in Norway shortly after and I’ve not seen him since.

Anyway, that was ages ago and the establishment are still to this day, worrying about ‘Methphet’ and how sad is that?   We’ve unfortunately, got designer drugs everywhere nowadays and the dumb fuckers are continuously paddling upstream, hoping that by ignoring the problem, it will miraculously vanish.   “I don’t think so.”     If you build such a happy society, then you will reap whatever it is that you sowed. What did you expect was going to happen?

What about Rock Scully popping his clogs? Speaking of which, this morning I discovered, that Elly May Clampet (Donna Douglas), died on New years day, aged 81 and that, only leaves Max Baer, Jethro D. Bodean and he’s in his late 70’s! “The Beverly Hillbilly’s,” was probably the funniest show of my entire childhood and I hold it in great affection. However, like our teachers, the actors of our youth, pass beyond the veil.     “And then, one day there were none.”

“Faversham y’all.”

Soon there will be no Beverley Hillbilly’s left alive and then, The Pythons will be next and god forbid, one day we will all wake up to discover that Steven Sagal has shuffled off this mortal coil.    Where will we be, without the fat chunky wooden hairdresser? Up shit creek, that’s where. That day will dawn and then we won’t be able to laugh along with, “Inaction Man.”

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